you're my playground love

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

>>> 061107

sometimes i just feel so alone in my battle against the world.

i feel like letting it all out and crying and crying and crying.

thank you to xz, for cheering me up like you always do (albeit momentarily), to kaichen for talking to me and for letting me know that someone else shares my confusion, and to zheng for just being so very concerned.

im just so tired of life.

why is it so hard to get what i want? i dont think i deserve it any less than anyone else.

hai...

i cant believe i only realised that other pple cant help you deal with sadness or depression in jc. its such a sad fact of life.

i wish i could freaking fast forward into the future.

was i wrong not to go michigan?

i cant help wondering, but yet i dont wanna regret.

i just feel so confused and depressed right now. and nobody can help me deal with it.

{ fate can act in a curious way } 1:43 AM

Friday, November 02, 2007

>>> 021107

i stopped telling people how i felt cos i realised that nobody here understands - all the people who do wldnt be in singapore (not anymore, anyway).

{ fate can act in a curious way } 2:14 AM

Friday, September 21, 2007

>>> 210907

i realised i dont like writing abt my emotions here nowadays. and that i used to tell pple how i felt abt stuff in the past (like in sec sch or smth) but now i dont. well, sometimes. but now 80% of the stuff i wld have told stays with me instead. hahaah.

on a random note, i want the new ipod. someone get it for me please. i want either the blue or red one. im not fussy. AHAHA.

i am dreading tmr's econs lesson cos i missed last week's and they formed groups for the econs project meaning... i have no group. AHHHHHHHH! hence i will have to go tmr and see who looks decent and say 'can i join ure group?!' AHHHHHH. doesnt help that i dont know anyone in that class.

sulks.

<3 !

{ fate can act in a curious way } 1:20 AM

Friday, September 14, 2007

>>> 140907

im so lazy to blog again.

i guess i can say i've sorta settled into sch but i hate my timetable because of the following:
1. i have morning classes at 830 every morn from tue-fri and it sux waking up so early cause it makes me grouchy
2. i hate squeezing like a sardine in the mrt cause it makes me grouchy
3. i hate dashing to sch by walking fast cause it makes me grouchy

what can u gather from the forementioned? yes im a very grouchy person in the morning. LOL... sian.

anw i seriously hope i dont face too much more disappointment with the overseas apps this time round... esp those caused by myself.

the bad thing abt this is that when i feel like ure going overseas, u dont feel committed to what u have at present.

i better (try) to do more work so at least theres a chance i can get 3.4gpa and continue double degree here in case i get rejected by ALL the schs i wld go to.

mymy, what a wonderful thought -.-

HAHA.

{ fate can act in a curious way } 10:36 PM

Thursday, August 23, 2007

>>> 230807

HELLO IM BACK HAHAHA.

zzz. just didnt have anything to blog about for the past month.

ok, maybe i did but i was too lazy. HAHAHA. ahh!!! fat lazy lump.

anw uk was fun, maybe i'll get down to uploading pics sometime but im kinda boggled down at the moment with the prospect of mugging the tbs + organising overseas cip + trying to get the MINDS cip in place + bothering abt the freaking ccas + struggling with sleep (or the constant need thereof) -.-

smu's ok so far i guess, definitely diff from jc, theres no class and i miss ronggie and tk and se and everyone else who isnt there ):

technically, i dont have any hw at the moment, but i think i shld read up on the textbooks. or is that being mugger. dunno lah! hahaah. but i just wanna keep on top of things (or rather i am trying to)...

i think i have inferiority complex (not referring to mugging, hahaha) ):

and i realised that its true that u shldnt take law unless u love reading and have good english, cos there really is a lot to read (and def more hw than econs)...

sigh, analytical skills and int math for econs tmr...

ok gtg slp now. nights. (mom just woke up) its 4am! gotta wake up at 8.

{ fate can act in a curious way } 4:02 AM

Monday, May 28, 2007

>>> 280507

no matter how the call goes tonight (though i have a sense of impending doom)... thanks to everyone who asked (and more imptly, gave me advice or comforted me!)... it really meant a lot.

though i dun really appreciate it if u have nothing to contribute and ask just cause ure kpo... zzzzz.

going to fitness first with mavis now!

(the call afterwards... ARGH!!!)

{ fate can act in a curious way } 5:19 PM

Sunday, May 27, 2007

>>> 270507

fuck pissed i want to give up.

AAAA A2 isnt enough for anyone is it?!?!?!! neither is 6 pts. or 6a1 4a2. fuck i am so pissed.

no wait it is enough for smu econs. for which ACCC is enough.

fuck fuck fuck i hate my life.

one day if i kill myself you'll know that its cause i cldnt take life no more.

DAMN FUCKING ANGRY OKAY I HATE MY LIFE NOTHING'S EVER GOOD ENOUGH.

and dont tell me that smu is very good cos its NOT my first choice and NOTHING is going to change that. personal choice. if u think its damn good then its ure problem.

{ fate can act in a curious way } 2:35 AM