>>> 300606

ct2 is over, i think bio and chem were bad but physics and math were ok i guess, i dont wanna predict how i'll do cos i think from experience that predictions nowadays can be really off, unlike o levels when u cld confidently say, 'oh i think i can get a1'. hahaa. it was seriously 4 days of suffering. ha.

went out with alpphie and jing, shopped. didnt buy anything though, spent a lot on food only. hahaa. the pigs. and jing hates the new zealand natural ice cream i like ): going out tmr to watch silent hill.

anyway i wish people wldnt be so judgemental. as in, even you think im stupid or incapable of getting a's also no need to be so obvious right. at least use a bit of freaking discretion la. but it kinda bothers me how people alr go around labelling people as whether they are capable or not, whether they can get a's or not. dunno... even though i think im quite mean, i wldnt outrightly label people like that. anyway i think being in a girls' school for 4 years was really like being in a bubble, protected from the insensitivities of males. HA.

england.owen10.JJ. - 是不是越在乎就越让你难受 says:
DUN THINK ABT U AND ** ANIMORE
england.owen10.JJ. - 是不是越在乎就越让你难受 says:
i noe u are
when we whisper in the night says:
...
when we whisper in the night says:
u can read my mind.
england.owen10.JJ. - 是不是越在乎就越让你难受 says:
i mean when we touch on topics like ** & ***.. friendship.. love.. you always think of him de

hai shi tzekwan zhui liao jie wo (: hahahaa.

but i guess, im not that affected anymore.

who cares la right? ... argh.

ackk. i think interpersonal relationships are so so so so complicated.

all i wanted to do was prove to you that you didnt mean anything to me, not anymore, that everything had been diluted by time... but i felt so wretched doing it. all i want is for our friendship to be normal again, but that possibility holds so many more questions. can i forget everything that happened? can i convince myself that im happy when im probably not? is this the path that will make me the happiest? am i being selfish by trying to save the friendship?

... i am such a freak.

luckily mugging kinda distracts you huh. temporarily.

ren sheng! i wonder if one truly has control of one's destiny. do little decisions set a whole series of changes into motion, changes that cant be stopped, like the falling of dominoes? or is everything just plain fated? i really wonder. then how about sicknesses? like leukaemia etc. if decisions affect the path ahead, how are diseases explained? (neglecting stuff like AIDS caused by promiscuity) HA.

<3 !


>>> 280606

im going offline in 4 min. haiz.

why doesnt my mugging work? this is so frustrating ): i tried so hard but i think im gonna get shitty grades anyway. i just want ok grades for once. SIGH this is depressing.

on a brighter note... 14 days to my birthday.

@#$%^&*... haiz.


>>> 240606

and i tried to find myself in a past i thought i had left behind, in a chapter that had been closed.

i guess i kinda found me, but i realised that some things had changed with time; that they couldnt be retrieved in their original state.

... i wonder, how will i ever finish studying?


>>> sian periods

i dunno why but im always having these 'sian periods' nowadays. then i just feel sian but i dont feel like mugging even though i know i should. and then like everything no meaning like that. and i realised that i dont get addicted to songs anymore. WHY AH. IS THIS DEPRESSION. NO RIGHT. COS I DONT FEEL -SAD- OR ANYTHING LEH I JUST FEEL LIKE GOT NO INTEREST IN EVERYTHING AND AH.

so sick of certain people.

i cant wait for my brother to come back. i need some entertainment desperately. or fun. whatever. i cant wait for my birthday. meow.

:/ :/ :/ :/ :/

why do i feel like that?! i dont know myself!! ARGH. I NEED SOMETHING TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE.

HAHAHA THIS IS SUCH A FRUSTRATED ENTRY.


>>> 180606

hello i dont know why but i feel very relaxed tonight ahhahaa and quite happy also but I'VE NO IDEA WHY. okay this is weird im having mood swings teehee!

anyway life is good, sometimes. hahaaha.

i guess, i dont need you?

if you can give our friendship up, i dont see why i cant (: these things, i guess, really do test the stability of friendships and how much both parties treasure the friendship... i guess i feel kinda sad that u can let go of everything so easily but i think, everythings fated, maybe something else will happen in the future? but i shant sit around waiting for it to happen though, if its gonna happen, it will.

maybe this is what recovery feels like.

BUT OBVIOUSLY I HAVENT COMPLETELY RECOVERED YET LA. I THINK.

that effect is cool. ahha.

oh yes, and i've finally understood the reason behind someone's actions. after wondering damn long. hahaha! i feel so proud of myself. must be cos of all the lit in sec school. hahaha!

(okay finally, a proper entry)


>>> 150606

its true, theres nothing like work for getting over a disappointment. heh.


>>> 130606

hahaa rongsiu ask me to update, but my life very boring one lar (seriously) its like come online nobody talk to me also... then even if talk to people also not interesting one... aiyah im losing interest in life... hahaa whatever... anyway was reading people's blog entries from the o level results time... i realised i like thinking back to the past when life was nice and happy and my grades were good... now like shit like that hahaha... ah... i sound so delirious and apathetic... ah whatever... anyway i realised friends can only help to a certain extent when you're sad... and ultimately you have to get over stuff yourself... anyway i really hope you're happy from all this... well i think you are... at least one of us is doing well HAHA... okay this is nonsense... anyway i really realised its not good to get involved in whatever shit romances when ure studying cos it just really screws up ure studies and grades... cos was reading this person's blog just now and she said smth like 'its all (someone's) fault' that her o levels sucked... but u say like that also no use right... cause people dont give a damn about what difficulties you have when looking at the results... hahahaa... society is unforgiving lol... okay enough rambling... just random thoughts la but dont worry about me after reading this or anything... cause im not sad... just damn sian and numb... hahaaha... okay going to do more work now... muack <3


>>> 070606

dependence is a very very very dangerous thing.

anyway flag day today, selling collarpins with huiling. i koped eight, all accounted for, of course :D

talked loads!

yay!

neutral entry, for once, haas.

im off! (:


>>> 060606

never look back, we said
how was i to know i'd miss you so?
loneliness up ahead
emptiness behind
where do i go?
and you didnt hear all my joy through my tears
all my hopes through my fears
did you know?
still i miss you somehow

from the bottom of my broken heart
theres just a thing or two i'd like you to know
you were my first love, you were my true love
from the first kisses to the very last rose
from the bottom of my broken heart
even though time may find me somebody new
you were my real love
i never knew love
till there was you
from the bottom of my broken heart

baby i said please stay
give our love a chance for one more day
we could've worked things out
taking time is what love's all about
but you put a dart
through my dreams, through my heart
and im back where i started again, yeah
never thought it would end
>> from the bottom of my broken heart; britney spears

this song isnt completely accurate but i guess it kinda is, sorta in a way.

i feel like i've wasted so much on you.

i dont even know whether i treasure the memories, i guess i do.

but this time isnt that bad i guess. i thought i could take it but im still affected.

i feel like my head is going to explode.

anyway i wont be blogging here for some time (i think). everything recently has really affected me and i just feel like life is so bloody contrived. happy stuff is completely and totally ephemeral, sad stuff lasts for so long. there is no freaking purpose in life EXCEPT mugging of course. DAMNIT LAH OKAY.

I HATE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT!?!!?! (okay not completely. but i feel that way sometimes)

HOW COME YOU CAN PUT EVERYTHING DOWN SO EASILY?! OR MAYBE ITS JUST ME. OKAY WHATEVER.

i dont want to think about the past anymore.


>>> 050605

would the world be a lot less complicated if people just do what makes them happy?

i wish i could hate you.

ah. anything.

i shall go read my book.


>>> 010606

i havent felt so stressed in a LONGLONG time.

120788
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