you're my playground love

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

>>> introspection

DONT READ THIS ENTRY UNLESS YOU DONT MIND ME WHINING.

i realised i often say things which i dont mean when im angry or sad.

ahh. some people are so nice until i feel so evil in comparison. hahahaa. but looking back i do feel damn touched even though i couldnt fully appreciate it at that point of time (:

as i was telling tk yesterday, i think this year has been damn shit and $^&*(^#ed up even though there -were- good things that happened i guess. shall not delve into those unpleasant memories though.

but it really hurts when i think how i've drifted away from people who were once my closest friends.

actually come to think of it, im a lot more private than i was in sec4. i dont know what brought about this change, but i just think i am. judging from my behaviour now. i've changed so much its quite scary.

im so freaking weak emotionally... i cant stand it.

and i feel so jaded. on 2 matters actually. like at the beginning of the year, i really tried to hold on. i did. but i couldnt. now i just take whatever comes and i dont even try to initiate more stuff. on the other issue, i feel like im such a walking paradox. there are only 2 ways this can go. i cant take it one way, yet the other way doesnt seem to work. hahah. is this very confusing?

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i miss.

{ fate can act in a curious way } 1:07 PM